Forever Tainted

We spent the day playing in the warmth… the warmth of the sun and the warmth of each other.  My body is not yet fully healed but we’ve enjoyed almost every inch of one another just the same.  We woke to sunshine bathing our deck, so out we went to enjoy our morning coffee.  Lars moved on to chop wood and I watched for a while, before I finally moved to the kitchen only to make us breakfast.  We ate on the deck and stayed there for hours.  We watched as our new tenants moved in.  We were still on the deck when my niece arrived to visit and pick up her new (our old) couches.

We really did take advantage of the day, basking in the sun, playing in the light, soaking in the vitamin D.  We put all chores aside and simply enjoyed each moment for what it was.  I don’t think we’ve had a weekend so relaxing all winter.

We talked.  We talked a little about what went wrong, where we fell off track, and what bothers us still from this most recent falling.   We talked about anger and how it paints such ugly pictures of one another and we talked about how misunderstood we felt as we both attacked one another.

We talked about the things others are doing in light of our fighting, that bother us still and possibly reform major parts of our relationship/future.  And we’ve both come to realize, we’re entitled to our feelings – even if things aren’t ideal.

We talked about our engagement, and how we’re happy just ‘dating’ again.  If and when the time is right, perhaps he’ll ask me to marry him again.  For now, we’re just lovers falling in love all over again.

Lars has gone to Puckle to feed the birds.  I’m about to make us dinner.  I couldn’t have asked for a better, more relaxing weekend in order to start the next week of work and school and more work…

In short, we’re doing well. We’re repairing what we broke and we’re smiling while doing it.  And in doing so, we’re learning a lot about the people around us and each other.