So I woke up this morning and the pain has subsided a little. Normally, I’d assume that’s a sign of healing. But normally, pain reduction wouldn’t be accompanied by bleeding. My ear is bleeding. Add that to being deaf, having a dry cough that keeps me awake at night, and it’s not a pretty picture. I’m not a pretty picture.
We can add guilt to the mix now too.
When I realized I was bleeding, I sent an email to the bosses, letting them know the situation in case I fail to function at my regular standards, somewhat or somehow today. Also knowing the pain has subsided, and that finding someone to cover my shift tonight would be a bitch; I was fully prepared to work through it – despite waking up still feeling miserable, and even a little pissed off over yesterday and still ill.
Now I feel horribly guilty though too. My boss responded pretty-much forbidding me to work tonight, reassuring me that had she known I was feeling that foul yesterday I wouldn’t have worked that shift either. Now, I feel overwhelmingly bad for being so bitter, for half contemplating taking a snowboarding day today, for being such a total bitch.
Why do I have to be such a bitch?
I really am very lucky. I have a job that I love and very understanding bosses. I am contemplating my future with this company, and though I haven’t had a chance to blog about it, that talk I was dreading, did take place and did go very well. When the time is right, I’ll make up my mind about all options and share them here… for now… I just need to remember how truly lucky I am…
Well that... and I need to go to bed.
I’m going to bed.
0 words of wisdom: