Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The last 24 hours have been emotionally, psychologically, and physically exhausting.  I am going to sleep like a baby tonight.

Today… today has been calm and quiet.  I made sure it would be.  I ignored every ounce of drama and removed every possible hint of its conception from my immediate surroundings the moment I opened my still-tired-eyes.  I have been deeply saddened; perhaps even in a state of mourning over what I am now certain is irreparably broken.  Even still… today has been a good day. 

I predict each day from here on out will only get better.

Today the hospital discharged just enough patients from the right departments to let our loved one, who is still in hospital, finally move from the ER to a private room.  May he finally sleep like a baby, heal quickly and get home to his wife.  And may those who love and worry for him rest a little better tonight too.

Today, the sun came out for a while and we got warm while driving around, without the car heaters on.

Today, I checked the mailbox and there was a surprise birthday card, a beautiful quartz necklace and some priceless pictures of my baby brother (the one I just recently found), waiting for me.  I cannot even start to explain how much joy this simple gesture has given me.

Today, despite my core hurting, despite coping with unspeakable pains, has been a day full of good, and love, and calm.

Tonight, I’m going to sleep like a baby.

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No matter where I am, I'm lost and learning to like it. I'm a living contradiction, and the best lies I tell are the ones I tell myself.
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