Forever Tainted

...is what it’s costing my father to secure more than 2 million dollars in personal assets and his sanity, with the end of the mediation process which took place earlier today. It’s most likely also going to be what kills my mother.

It’s all almost over. An interim agreement has been signed while the legal papers are now in the process of being drawn up. The process took two lawyers and a mediator, in addition to my parents. My mother’s words were so incoherent that she had the room talking in circles more often than not, stating irrelevant nonsense as facts, such that according to her I am not living happily here in Squamish, but rather I’m living in Delta with some guy. Or that my father didn’t transfer more than $100,000 to my Dubai account for the purchase of my apartment but rather, just $10,000 dollars. All irrelevant details aside, it looks like this may actually be the start to the end. Just a few more weeks and all papers will be signed, and my mother will be 90K richer with no restrictions.

It’s not going to take her long to piss that away. She’ll drink it up, possibly take her mother to Reno or something like that, perhaps buy more crap that she doesn’t need and won’t ever open. My bet is, it will all be gone in a few short months – and that’s only if she doesn’t kill herself with it before she pisses it all away. And that is my worst fear.

It’s all really sad for me. I’m glad to learn it’s finally almost over. I’m glad my father isn’t going to lose anything he actually cares about. I’m mortified at the thought of my mother having such a large amount of money at her whim – we’ve seen how’s she’s reacted to mass amounts of money at her disposal during the last year and a half. It’s also heartbreaking that I know their relationship is beyond repair, and despite the promise to consider marriage counselling, my father has long since moved on now and is seeing someone else. And the damage my mother did to the entire family is beyond reconciliation. Selfishly, I can’t help but wonder if I’m going to lose my father now as when I moved off the island I recognized the fact that I’d already lost my mother to her insanity.

It scares me a little. Ok, it scares me a lot.

I had a great day today. But this news now... now, I’m not feeling so great at all.