Forever Tainted

Anyone who plays poker knows the person with the largest stack has the highest chances of winning, even early on in the game because they know they can bully their opponents out of taking huge risks with their smaller stacks by betting big, even on lesser cards forcing everyone to weigh their risks and fold. Relationships are much like that. The one who holds the ‘power’ tends to feel less pain when things go bad, and can thrive off the weaker person’s insecurities. But should the weaker person take a stand, and say “Fuck you, I’m all in”, the chances of them winning that hand seem to be greater as the power shifts and the player with the larger stack most-likely gets caught by surprise and makes the foolish mistake of calling on shitty whole cards.

People get high on power like they get high on bigger stacks of chips in poker. They make fatal mistakes, believing for that brief moment while they’re on top that they are invincible. But before they know it, the weaker player has doubled their stack and stands face to face with them.

I’ve been at my sister’s place for two nights now. On the morning I left, he decided to break up with me. That’s all good because I knew it wasn’t working out anyway. But the rejection hurt, and gave him the bigger stack – and I’d been miserable. Last night I went all in, and said, “Fuck it, and fuck you.” And now, I feel a billion times better.

So much so, I can share with you all we almost got attacked by a nice big bear and her baby cubs last night. My sister lives in an awesome place on the edge of the forest. With a couple of cherry trees and an apple tree in the yard, the bears like to sneak down at night for dinner. With a bear on the tree at the edge of the yard, we made the mistake of walking over there to get a better look in the pitch black of night. We didn’t see the cubs until the mama bear growled at us, sending us all flying towards the house and up the porch stairs – where we finally decided to get a flashlight and brilliantly walk out there again. Since running up the stairs I was tripped by my sister’s puppy and bruised up my knee and foot real well, I decided not to go much beyond halfway through the yard this time. I’ll tell ya, it was a thrill.