Forever Tainted

Waking up without you is like waking up empty.

I should be cautious. If it feels too good to be true, it probably is. Not with you. With you, I can’t imagine it. I can however, see us growing up, growing old, getting married and even making babies one day…

You always have the right thing to say. And when I told you I’d never make that whole marriage mistake again, you told me it would be no mistake. When you told me you loved me and I rejected the use of such a huge word, you told me it was a word you did not use lightly. And I know that’s true – but I do not want to believe... When I asked how you knew your emotions weren’t lying to you, you reminded me of how well you know yourself. And I believe you do.

I don’t know everything there is to know about you, but I know I’m in love with you too. I just refuse to bring those words to my lips, should you hear… it might be the induction of my heart’s demise. I have been deceived by my very own heart before...

Where have you been my entire life? And how is it any one person fits another like a glove and seemingly fits no one else just right? Who tailored us for one another? And why did we have to spend so many years attempting and failing with others? Why did I have to be just this jaded for you to find me and pull all my pieces together? And why is it, you seem to know exactly where everything goes?

It’s just right. It’s all just right. I fell into your mother and your sister like they were family of my own. Such instantaneous love all around. Never before have virtual strangers been able to bring me so close to tears of joy, nor have I shared such whole-hearted laughter. They’re right.

It’s as close to perfection as I could ever hope to be. Except… you live too far away. And I know we’re in the process of changing that. It just feels so soon, so sudden, so rushed… but so very right. And so very much meant to be because… waking up without you is like waking up empty.