Wednesday, April 14, 2010
What matters…

I miss you Zorana.

I ran alone tonight. I ran hard. I ran from what I was feeling. I ran to cleanse. I ran until I felt a jinnie (Authu bi Allah min ashaytan ir regime) behind me. I saw his shadow, shorter than myself, running beside me. I gasped. My heart raced, and I started to panic. I spun and ran as hard as I could towards the light. And you flashed in my mind. I saw you seething, not breathing as you growled in my direction. I watched your eyes roll back into your head, before finally your face softened and you whimpered my name. I heard the thunder of his chanting holy words. I saw myself run towards you and heard my husband and the Mullah yell at me simultaneously to leave you crying on my livingroom floor – because it wasn’t really you at all.

And for a moment tonight, I felt foolish as if I didn’t believe my own story. But I know it was true. I know it happened. I saw it with my own eyes. And I know for a moment tonight, I was at risk myself.

I miss you Zorana. I love you terribly and wish you were with me at nights like tonight.

2 words of wisdom:

Holly Jahangiri said...

What a powerful and amazing little piece of writing this is. I could feel it, and it gave me a chill.

Tainted Female said...

Holly, Zorana is one of my best friends and will be for life. I watched an attempted exorcism on her - a real life one, about 7 years ago now. You might have actually read about it in "Behind the Veil" at one point... I remember it like it was yesterday. The scariest thing I ever did see.

It gives me chills to remember.


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