Forever Tainted

‘I can’t even hate you. And I honestly, truly want to. I never thought I’d find myself actually welcoming someone into my heart as I do you. I thought I was too broken to even know how to love anymore. The fact that I have no control… I know it’s real. I’m just too scared to admit it.’

‘I think you just did… And I love you for it :]’

~*~

‘I have been on this planet 32 years… I know what I am… who I am… and that no one has ever completed me… Some came close, even made me happy for a time. But… 3 years after I was born, my match was brought into this world… And it took 26 years to grow into each other’s paths. :) I’m glad I found you… Most people don’t get to. :]’

~*~

So quickly you've become my world. So true you make me feel. And no matter how many times you may have uttered similar words in the past, I know by the way you look at me you're telling no lies. I know by the way your hands feel on my skin and in my hair as you whisper words of conviction in my ear, that we're going to grow old together, just as you assure.

So tonight I meet both your mom and sister. I'm armed with banana bread and fridge magnets of their favorite photos that you and I made together. I know I'll love them both, and I'm certain that they will love me. Everything about this feels so right. Finally...

My whole life I've wondered when it's going to be my turn; when God would give me the break I so truly deserve, after sacrificing so much of me for so long to both deserving and those who were not. It finally feels like my turn has come. And I refuse to let that pass without recognition. el7emdullah rab illa alameen. I wish my mama were alive to meet and fall in love with you too. I know she's looking down on us and smiling... And I know she knows, you're going to take care of her little girl.

~*~

'I know we will work out babe. Somethings don't fall into place as easy as others... but all in all, we will be together. :] Hardship makes most things more enjoyable in the end. Things that come easily, usually go easy. Like I said before, I love that I have to cross an ocean for you... For your heart of gold.'

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'Makes me feel honored I have a woman worth that much to me... This early in a relationship, it is a good thing. I know I don't want to leave you now but the time I spend travilling gives me an opportunity to be sure what I am feeling for you. I know there is a lot to learn from and about each other... Can't wait to wake up to your gorgeous green eyes all the time.'

~*~

How do I not fall in love with you?