Forever Tainted

I have been incredibly ill pretty much since my last posting here. A lot of funny little things have happened that I haven’t had the energy to write about. In particular, I’m talking about my mom and how strange she really has become.

Now that the mediation is over, and the papers are in the making, she’s acting like it’s a new beginning with my father. She’s friendly with him, has invited him on a trip to Thai Land after Christmas (she’s offering to pay – with money that was once theirs but is now hers), and is convinced that the two of them should start counselling. What makes all this strange is the fact that she’s spent the best part of the last two years insisting that she was leaving him, making his life hell, and fighting to separate all assets so that she has her own little piece. Don’t most couples consider counselling and vacations prior to legal separation of assets? Aren’t lawyers and courts, and mediators the last resort when all is said and done in a relationship? And does my mother have any real recollection of the shit she’s done in the past to her entire family? My father wants to stay on good terms with her, but as of now he still has no intention of getting romantically involved with her again.

My intuition says that they spent 15 years together, and chances are they will get back together soon enough – despite the fact that my mother is not the same woman she once was. My intuition says the habit of being with one another for so long is still under both of their skins and now, since my mother cannot pose any legal threat to my father, at least not once the papers are signed, they could find some sort of comfort in something similar to the norm they once shared.

In the meantime, my grandmother is pissed about the results of the mediation and how my mother ‘short-changed’ herself. And all the while she’s trying to convince my mom that the two of them should take a trip to Las Vegas together – which confirms our suspicions as to why grandma was of no help when my father and I tried to contact her as my mom’s symptoms started appearing a year and a half ago. If anything, that cunt helped convince my mother that she needed to separate from my dad and all her medical, psychological and addictive problems would vanish with him. The selfish bitch has only ever been looking out for herself and what she may get from the legal separation. I don’t believe I’ve ever known someone so evil in my life.

And perhaps the most bizarre of all, is my mother’s mention of Dubai, and my son. She’s mentioned she may buy both her and I tickets to back so we could visit my son. Of course, none of this was ever said to me and I myself am not ready to be in Dubai, and would weary of travelling there (or anywhere for that matter) with my mom. Who the hell knows what kind of problems she could cause? In the past year she has suggested kidnapping my baby and smuggling him out of the country more than once. That’s not something I’m interested in, and not something I would dare risk. And let’s not forget that chances are, my mom couldn’t get back into Dubai if she tried – as she’s got a credit card there she failed to pay. When this is mentioned to her, she insists that she gave me the money to pay it off, which of course is not true. In fact, she took out a bank loan here to pay it off, but I never saw a dollar of that money as she pissed it away with copious amounts of other money, while I continued to make payments on the card while I was in Dubai.

It’s all a big mess. And my words are coming out like little assholes, not one of them wanting to flow well with another. So I best stop writing now, before my fever fully takes over and I lose all thought.

...is what it’s costing my father to secure more than 2 million dollars in personal assets and his sanity, with the end of the mediation process which took place earlier today. It’s most likely also going to be what kills my mother.

It’s all almost over. An interim agreement has been signed while the legal papers are now in the process of being drawn up. The process took two lawyers and a mediator, in addition to my parents. My mother’s words were so incoherent that she had the room talking in circles more often than not, stating irrelevant nonsense as facts, such that according to her I am not living happily here in Squamish, but rather I’m living in Delta with some guy. Or that my father didn’t transfer more than $100,000 to my Dubai account for the purchase of my apartment but rather, just $10,000 dollars. All irrelevant details aside, it looks like this may actually be the start to the end. Just a few more weeks and all papers will be signed, and my mother will be 90K richer with no restrictions.

It’s not going to take her long to piss that away. She’ll drink it up, possibly take her mother to Reno or something like that, perhaps buy more crap that she doesn’t need and won’t ever open. My bet is, it will all be gone in a few short months – and that’s only if she doesn’t kill herself with it before she pisses it all away. And that is my worst fear.

It’s all really sad for me. I’m glad to learn it’s finally almost over. I’m glad my father isn’t going to lose anything he actually cares about. I’m mortified at the thought of my mother having such a large amount of money at her whim – we’ve seen how’s she’s reacted to mass amounts of money at her disposal during the last year and a half. It’s also heartbreaking that I know their relationship is beyond repair, and despite the promise to consider marriage counselling, my father has long since moved on now and is seeing someone else. And the damage my mother did to the entire family is beyond reconciliation. Selfishly, I can’t help but wonder if I’m going to lose my father now as when I moved off the island I recognized the fact that I’d already lost my mother to her insanity.

It scares me a little. Ok, it scares me a lot.

I had a great day today. But this news now... now, I’m not feeling so great at all.

Yesterday, I woke up and left for work as usual. It’s was just past 6am, and for the first time since I got here, I had to idle my car for a good 10 minutes so the ice, not frost but thin layer of ice, would melt off my windshield. It’s getting fucking cold. Soon, everything will be covered in a pristine white blanket of snow. I am not looking forward to it.

I pop into the UAE blogs less frequently these days. The stereotypical bullshit bores me. I can’t help but wonder where the curiosity, flare, even uniqueness of UAE bloggers have gone in general. I guess with the demise of the infamous blogs like Balushi, or Sex & Dubai, the entire community suffered. It’s a pity really, because once upon a time, the UAE blogging scene was entertainment. Or perhaps it’s just me and how much change I’ve been subjected to?

I’m finally learning the value of the dollar, and what it’s like to not really have enough. I’m finally learning that life really is what I make it. Which reminds me, if you have an hour or so, watch this clip and all the subsequent ones (if you haven’t already seen the movie):

This is the first of 12 or so clips on Youtube for the movie, ‘What the bleep do we know’.


My mom is still crazy, my dad is still fighting the battle. I believe right now, my mother is being charged with credit card fraud for using my dad’s credit card without his knowledge. It’s the card company themselves who are pressing the charges and not necessarily my father. In addition to all of that, there is question as to whether or not I’ll be selling my flat in Dubai. The expenses of the separation are far beyond what my father anticipated, and if it comes down to him having to sell off the million dollar house he worked his whole life for and just completed building, or me giving up some studio in Dubai, you can bet your ass I’ll let go of the flat. That may very well mean I’m heading back there sometime soon. It’ll be so good to see my son.

I miss him. I miss him more than words can describe. I want nothing more than to hug and hold him these days. I know he misses me too.

Whenever I think I’m starting to miss Dubai, Youtube is all I need:


Home sweet, home:

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I don't know if this says more about Dubai, or the presenter here:
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I should have learned to ski while I was there... Maybe then I'd have reason to drive 30 minutes north of here, and hit the slops!