Wednesday, May 28, 2008
My actual resignation letter said something like this:

"Dear L...

Please consider this letter my official resignation effective today.

Thank you for the opportunity you have given to me to work with you and the experience I have had the chance to learn.



What I was actually thinking was:

Last week, you came back from your cruise with a horrid frown on your face. You had a nasty cold, maybe a touch of the flu, but when we asked what was wrong you clearly stated you were pissed at what happened in the office while you were away and it wasn’t you being ill that was getting to you.

I’d still like to know, what exactly you think happened, because as far as I was concerned, the office was running as smoothly as ever while you were away. I don’t recall any conflicts, or issues after you came in and put an end to the initial and as far as I’m concerned, only problem that occurred before you actually left. I know whispers hit your ears that pointed fingers at both myself and another of your employee’s being culprits in something. Initially, I figured even with the far-fetched tattletale being one of your longest devoted employee’s, you’d see through the bull, since during your entire leave, that other employee was out of the office at least 90% of the time. There literally was no time for conflict!

But you stayed miserable for a full week. And your misery rubbed off on others. Friday, I asked for help and the response I got was, “Can we do this some other time? I’m not in the mood today.” I agreed, and asked what was wrong. The response I got was, “She’s being a bitch, a real bitch,” and to that I agreed, but also stated you’d been that way since you came back and no one really knows why so we needn’t take it personally. None-the-less, she told me not to bother completing the task of getting her resume formatted, since she intended to do it herself over the weekend. I almost laughed when she admitted in a staff meeting to seeing your employment ads, then stating she can’t remember what she was looking for on the recruitment site!

Anyway, come Monday, you had prepared a speech and held a talk with four of your staff members. You talked about the problems, the petty bull, then you apologized to two of the members, explicitly expressing that they were not a part of the problem and you regret them having to be a part of the conversation. You then make clear that you have already held conversations with the other staff member present, and turned to me and stated I was certainly part of the problem. You had held no private talks with me concerning this as you had with other’s; in fact, you’d simply treated me like shit period since you’d been back. You choose not to bother, before taking whoever’s words for gold. And pointing a finger at me (despite you not seeing it that way, when you eliminate 3 of the 4 people you’re talking to, there is only one left and metaphorically speaking - that’s pointing a finger), wasn’t a real motivational factor.

I hope you have half the true will to learn that you believe and profess you have, and that you will hear these words and if not agree with them, at least consider them...

I could have succeeded in your office. I could have been one of your best employee’s. I wanted to expand and grow there. Your office failed me as much as I failed you. Here’s why:

You gave me a trainer (without actually telling me she was my trainer, forcing me to learn that by asking the wrong people questions), who could not and can not teach. I brought this to your attention, but it slipped into one ear and out the other. Then, when my ‘trainer’ takes emergency leave, you expect that I know everything I need to know - when in fact, I knew very, very little. Trying to accomplish the tasks at hand, I ask the only other person available to help me. Time and time again I’m told not to bother, that she will just do it as she is too busy (training others and what not). And if not that, I was simply ignored. Concerning one project, I almost beg her to tell me how to do it, but she insists she needs to go through the files herself, because she can’t know what the problem is otherwise. I ask her to do so, then when she finds the problem, to point it out to me because I want to learn; she agrees. Amazing, the next day during a staff meeting, she insists she already taught me what to do, implying I really am that stupid. Fact: If she had taught me, It would have been done rather than sitting on a bloody waiting list!
This may be petty to you, but it’s not the first time, and I was sure it wouldn’t have been the last time your staff members placed undeserved blame on me. Let’s take for example our client, the cancer patient. Before you decided to blame me for not noting we should only be calling only one of them, did you even LOOK at the T1 take in sheet? I did - when I scanned it for you. It clearly shows that I did in fact note that we should NOT be calling one of the pair. Funny enough, that last little bit of bull was the last I was willing to take at your company.

Most of what I learned in your company was taught to me by the girl who quit just 2 weeks prior to me (which is one of the reasons I hated to see her go so bad, I knew if she left, I’d be short behind because there was no one else to help me learn (one of those aspects you pride your company on!).

I told you when I joined I have one really strong weakness, and that’s the inability to work in a place where I am not happy. Feeling stranded up shit creek without a paddle, because there is work on my desk I don’t know how to do and have no one to ask for help or to teach me as it piles high, is not my idea of a happy place to work. Especially when that work is time sensitive and I’m going to get shit for it not being done in the end. Being lied about, and made to feel stupid is not my idea of happy. Being talked about behind my back, to you and to others, not my idea of happy.

You may not feel that you lost much when I quit, mutually, I don’t feel I lost much by leaving. But I hope you realize your office has its faults and helped me fail, through as much as it taught me. I spent a few months taking responsibility for faults that weren’t mine as well as those that were mine. I hope you take responsibility in recognizing the faults in your office and doing something to fix them, before hiring your next staff member.

2 words of wisdom:

Anonymous said...

Oh Tainted, I was so happy for you, for things that were going the way you wanted it to go.

I am so so sorry about your mother, and have a good idea how the mental health law can still fail many families, I know.

That must be one of the hardest things to witness and withstand.

I hope that your mother gets rescued soon and that she gets well.

Stay strong, you've come a long way..

My prayers for you


Tainted Female said...

Hi hun...

Thank you for your thoughts. All will be alright. It always is in the end.


This is my personal weblog. The thoughts and opinions represented here are mine and mine alone. They do not reflect those of my employers, associates or peers.

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No matter where I am, I'm lost and learning to like it. I'm a living contradiction, and the best lies I tell are the ones I tell myself.
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