Wednesday, February 17, 2010
About done with humanity…

I’m 28 years old and I think I sincerely hate humanity now. And perhaps that’s my problem and mine alone. I wish I’d just die. There’s no point in life when you see no fucking good. I wish I had died and my mother lived. She’d be far better at cleaning up the after-mess than I am.

I need to write my will.

I feel as though I’ve given my whole self, my whole life to people that do not deserve it – which not only offer nothing in return, but also rape me of myself in the process.

I’m fairly certain my heart is already stone cold. I find it almost impossible to connect with a person romantically. My view of most relationships is a lot like business transactions, whether or not it’s cash in trade. Each and every person is a whore in some way or another. Perhaps the streetwalkers have it right.

Today I learned that a friend I’ve had for more than 15 years is a hypocritical, disloyal, delusional piece of work. I was forced to disown him. If 15 years can and must be thrown away because for 15 years you believed someone was someone they weren’t… I’ll never really know another person nor the evils which all people are capable of.

I fucking hate you. I hate you all. Perhaps not for what you are or have been, but for what you are capable of becoming.

Go fuck yourselves.

1 words of wisdom:

MetalPSI said...

Emotion is always strong with you. But never are you defeated. Instead, your emotions are a strength.

No, you were never a fainting blossom, but you aren't bereft of feeling the good that sometimes evolves.

Such venom and hate for the stupidity and culpability of humanity. Something we have always shared. Ironic then, that this is what feeds it to begin with?


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No matter where I am, I'm lost and learning to like it. I'm a living contradiction, and the best lies I tell are the ones I tell myself.
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