Wednesday, June 10, 2009
So I ran away... I’m sure I’m not the first and I won’t be the fucking last. No doubt I’m scared. You fucking scare me. It’s amazing how I meet you and I’m about ready to abandon everything I’ve ever known and believed in, just because it feels so god damn right with you. It’s amazing how fucking right it feels...

I’m pissed at myself for feeling so much so soon. I’m pissed at myself for being such a pansy I have to run as quick as I can, as far as I can, as soon as I find an excuse. I’m pissed at myself for fearing your rejection so severely and trying to hard to avoid it, I hurt myself in the meantime just as much if not more.

I’m pissed at you for not caring. I’m pissed as you because I’m not sure that you feel the same. I’m just fucking pissed.

I should have stayed in that unhappy marriage. I may have never been happy... But at least I’d never have to give a thought about being alone... At last I’d never have to question being without you.

1 words of wisdom:

MetalPSI said...

Take nothing for granted. Such feelings are common for most, rare for some.

No risk, no fun. Its what life is about, and always has been.

You have taken care of yourself for so long, perhaps someone else would like to take that place for a little while? Perhaps.

Ya life is scary, sometimes even so frightening that we bar the door instead of opening it.

But the breeze feels oh so good.


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No matter where I am, I'm lost and learning to like it. I'm a living contradiction, and the best lies I tell are the ones I tell myself.
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