Forever Tainted

It translates to:

my mother my heart
every sun must rise and set
(her signature)
July 23, 1954 – July 23, 2011

It hurt a fuck of a lot. But Lars let me squeeze his hand throughout – teasing me a little along the way. I smiled a whole lot too – being half naked in a public place was weird for me!

He’s scheduled for the 30th of November to have his sleeve done. While my little tattoo there took around 2 hours, what he has designed is estimated at 20 hours. I’ll only be able to pick on him for part of it, as I work late on the 30th.

I have mixed feelings about the way mine turned out. Jim is a very talented artist, but I feel the Arabic writing needs some work. In my eyes, it looks a little like an unlearned hand has written it – which is only natural as Jim of course, does not speak or write Arabic. I don’t think that he’ll have a problem thickening up the lines a bit. But I need time to heal first. He touched up the superiority stamp on my wrist and that looks a thousand times better than it did when dickhead finished it. Lars will have his touched up too by Jim.

We’ve had company all weekend, not a lot of time to rest or spend together. My father’s fucked his back up pretty bad and hasn’t gotten out of bed for a few days now. Pretty soon here, we’ll have to have the paramedics come round and get him, if the pain doesn’t let up. Lars has been tending to the birds, and I’ve been on alert – running up the stairs to help every time he screams out, or thumps loudly. I had to put the painkillers in his mouth and hold his drink up while he drank and swallowed them today. I’ve never had to tend to him like this before. Between the oddness of the situation, and my sincere fear for his pain, I shook as I assisted him in drinking and ended up pouring liquid all down his front – that he insisted I leave alone, even though he can’t move well enough to wipe himself up even.

I’m worried about him. Only once do I ever recall he’s been like this before in Dubai. He spent 3 or 4 days in bed and I remember hearing his screams as he tried to move. I hope he’s better soon.

Lars has come back from the pens. We’ve cleaned the kitchen and now we’re about to cuddle up with a drink and watch some crappy TV, play some video games. I suppose this is all for now.