Sunday, January 18, 2009
With every separation
every lover of mine lost
with every aching craving
every unrequited lust
I’ve carried doubts.

This time it is no different
you haunt my heart and mind
creeping out of nowhere
you never fail to remind
I need you.

But like every failed union
every one I’ve left behind
like every other reason
and every other time
you do me wrong.

And like every other swindler
every other con
concealed all true intentions
sang a hypnotizing song
and fooled me.

But now I turn my back
I’m finally able to see
the sadomasochistic binding
between you and me
needs breaking.

With every time I burned you
sizzled your fragile skin
with every intimate moment
I took you deep within
you tried to take my life.

~*~

I quit smoking yesterday. It’s almost amazing how much it feels like losing a lover. It’s the first thing I’ve felt passionate enough about to write poetry in years it seems.

8 words of wisdom:

alexander... said...

Now that was funny and just a little bit shocking. I kicked 60 a day a few years ago.

Stay away from cigars. I wasted a year smoking them and kidding myself I had kicked the fags! :)

BTW: Anthony Kiedis on his smack habit said something like 'It started like a 900lb gorilla on my back. It's still there but it's an inch high now.' It's a good analogy but you'll feel better for it if you keep it up and make it through, believe me!

BTW - I'm very proud that smokers are still welcome in my life. I took my decision, but don't see why I should impose it on others.

Tainted Female said...

Congrats to you... I can't even picture myself without a smoke a few years from now. Luckily, I'm not looking that far! If I make it through today, I'll be happy!

:)

adevents said...

That was nice surprise I really thought there is a love story behind the poem, brilliant. , quitting smoking I have been there done that, and now I completed 2 years without smoking but unfortunately I am in to new habit and it came to my knowledge lately it is worse than smoking which is Dipping tobacco (Tainted they call it Neswar here )I used it first as an alternative source for the nicotine , but now it is a new addiction and far more addicted to it than cigarette ohhhh

Riddle Of The Sand said...

all be best with the new habit :)

sea life said...

Congratulation,
I never even thought about quiting.Maybe in about 2,3years I'll consider it.Hopefully then, my life will be on a calm path.

Tainted Female said...

AD,

You can quit, I'm sure you can. You just have to want to first, then you have to NOT be afraid of the cravings. I'm on day 5 today - and I feel freaking fantastic!

ROTS... It's been a long, long, long time my friend. How are you and how is Kuwait? I shall pop over and see how things go in your world soon, I promise! And thank you for the luck. :)

Sea Life, there's really never a 'good' or 'right' time for a smoker to quit. We all make up a billion excuses a day as to why we can't or don't want to quit. I'm sure when you decide you don't want that yucky, smelly, cancerous habit to be a part of your life anymore, you'll up and quit too. And I'm sure you'll do just fine!

kaya said...

I like the poem.
By the time I write this comment, you will have started smoking again.
I have nothing against people who smoke. Its one life.
Live it.

Tainted Female said...

Kaya, that's why you and should get together once you're on this side of the planet!

That one life rule is worth living by!

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